Is that American Idol's Matt Giraud? No, it's the Notre Dame leprechaun, and he's gazing at the new conference I stuck him in.
Around this time every year people begin to whine about the injustices surrounding the current system for deciding college football’s ultimate champion. The same writers write the same stories about how nothing is going to change. Nothing could possibly interrupt the on-going X-rated conversation between the BCS bigwigs and all that dough. It just won’t happen they say. There are too many obstacles. Just give it up. Some even offer their own half-hearted attempts at a simple playoff system. But in the end, it’s always the same result — nothing.
Well you can all relax. I’ve fixed it.
You see the problem wasn’t with the playoff systems that some pundits were offering up to the listening ears of college football fans and the Benjamin Franklin-lined pockets of college football’s elite. The problem is in how the conferences are set up. In my solution, I’ve completely re-aligned the entire FBS. Some teams had to go, and I didn’t discard lightly. Most of the teams that would now have to play at a lower level are historically losing programs. Of course, there were a few cuts due to geography, but all the BCS conference teams stayed alive, and I think that most of the major-mids made the cut. So, if you want to know how to fix the collge football postseason, read on. It may not be perfect, but it’s the best answer you’ll find.
Here’s how it would work. I’ve redesigned the entire NCAA football landscape into eight 12 team conferences, each containing two divisions. Each league would play a conference championship game which would work as round one of the playoffs. 16 teams get in, and the entire regular season becomes basically the pre-rounds of the tourney.
The country is split into two main divisions as well, like the NFL. There’s the Southern League (which includes the Gulf Coast Conference, the South Central Conference, the Atlantic Conference, and the Southwest Conference) and the Northern League (which includes the Mountain Plains Conference, the Pacific Conference, the Midwest Conference and the Eastern Conference). The four champions of each conference from each league will play eachother in round two of the tournament, with seeding to be determined by BCS-like computer rankings.
The remaining two teams from each league will play in a League Championship game (like the NFL’s AFC and NFC championship games) to determine who goes to the National Title.
Here’s where the bowls come in. Currently, there are 34 bowl games. The BCS Bowls would take turns rotating throughout the semifinals and finals, with the second-tier bowls hosting the earlier rounds of the playoffs. The teams that didn’t make it into their conference championship games but still became “traditionally bowl eligible” would play in the remaining bowls. There’d have to be some sort of revenue-sharing program between all of the bowls, but I’m no economist, so someone else can figure that out. Besides, the overall spike in ratings would assure that everyone received more money.
So there you have it. I’ve even invented some catchy division names and designed some new logos for the new conferences. I did them on Microsoft Paint, too. So you know they’re top-notch. Enjoy, and as always, feel free to ask any questions — DraftZoo@gmail.com
Gulf Coast Conference
| Gulf | Atlantic | |
| Alabama | Florida | |
| FSU | Georgia | |
| Auburn | Ga Tech | |
| USF | Miami | |
| Troy | UCF | |
| Ga Southern | FAU |
The Breakdown: (One division known as the Gulf and one known as the Atlantic because the logo is a wave) Probably the strongest of all the conferences, I guess this would be the SEC of the new alignment. Maybe it’s the Alec of the Baldwin brothers. Use whichever strength metaphor you’d like, but the fact remains that the best football is being played in this region. Interesting note: This is the only conference to contain an FCS team. I chose Georgia Southern because of their consistent success at that level.
The Setup: Florida and Georgia keep their rivalry in the same division, thus bringing tears of joy to every fan of drinking cheap beer outdoors at the Jacksonville Landing while being surrounded by an eclectic mix of 63-year-old alcholics and 18-year-old trainees. Then, you’ve still got Georgia-Georgia Tech, FSU-Florida, FSU-Miami, Alabama-Auburn, and maybe even a new brew with UCF and USF. The GCC conference would certainly garner attention from the nation combining three of the South’s best football states.
Atlantic Conference
| Inland | Ocean | |
| WVU | Va Tech | |
| S Carolina | UNC | |
| Clemson | NC St | |
| Kentucky | Virginia | |
| Louisville | Wake | |
| Marshall | Duke |
The Breakdown: (One division known as the Ocean and one known as the Inland because I think it’s funny for some reason that those schools have to go out of state to hit the beach) A conference that combines a good portion of the ACC, some SEC, a little Big East, and Marshall because the conference needs some green. Another relatively strong conference with the best the Big East and ACC have had to offer over the last four or five years. Geographically, it makes sense, even though the “Atlantic” name might confuse some West Virginia residents. Someone would have to be waiting at the border with a sign that said, “Sorry. Still no ocean here.” But other than that, it’s a good fit.
The Setup: UNC, Duke, Wake, and NC State get to keep their rivalries alive in the same division. South Carolina and Clemson remain close, and don’t need any wiggling to meet every year. Louisville and Kentucky join them on that side of the AC (Atlantic Conference). Nothing wrong with having West Virginia, UVA, and Va Tech battling it out either. Maybe they could play for the “We Can See the Sea” Trophy. Oh yeah, Marshall’s in there too. But mostly just so fans of the conference can make random Matthew McConaughey references.
South Central Conference
| South | North | |
| LSU | Tenn | |
| Arkansas | Ole Miss | |
| TCU | So Miss | |
| La Tech | Miss St | |
| Houston | Vandy | |
| Tulane | Memphis |
The Breakdown: (One division known as the South and one as the North because there needs to be more discussion on the Civil War) How’s that for a scary conference name. No one with a with a butler named Jeffery or an uncle named Phil will want anything to do with these guys once they hear they’re from “South Central.” But the conference isn’t all that friendlier considering who’s playing here. Well, at least the top half has some teeth. It’s basically a collection of SEC teams with a few mid-majors (and a couple bottom-feeders) thrown in. It’s a nice geographic fit and should be well represented by the better teams. Think of it like the Pac 10, where the top team is great, but hardly ever beaten due to a weak slate of league foes.
The Setup: You’ve got LSU-Arkansas so that those two can still play for the Golden Boot. I’m sure the players will be thrilled that the heaviest trophy in history will still have to be hoisted after a win. Lookout for thrown games. Of course if it does get dropped in the mud, they can always use the Tiger Rag to wipe it off, assuming LSU beats Tulane. Then there’s the LSU-Ole Miss “worst rivalry name” ever Magnolia Bowl. Fitting considering the Magnolia flower looks a little like the egg that Ole Miss and Mississipi State play for. Tennessee and Vandy haven’t officialy named their rivalry, but I’m pretty sure it’s just referred to as “Oh Shit” by fans in Nashville. TCU, Houston, La Tech, and Tulane at least bring some variety. And by variety I mean they were located in the right spot when I made this list.
Southwest Conference
| Cowboy | Indian | |
| Texas | Oklahoma | |
| Tex Tech | Ok St | |
| Baylor | Tulsa | |
| A&M | Kansas | |
| Rice | Kansas St | |
| No. Texas | Missouri |
The Breakdown: (One division made up of all Texas schools known as the Cowboy Division. And one division made up of schools further north known as the Indian division because who doesn’t love a good Cowboys vs Indians battle). Another conference full of mettle. It’s the best of the Big 12 with some regional schools thrown in to fill it out. Texas has only about 100 FBS schools to choose from, but with a few of them headed to the South Central Conference, North Texas managed to sneak in. The Mean Green aren’t mean, or really that good, but they did rule the Sun Belt for a few years, and they just fit so well geographically.
The Setup: One side of this conference is made up entirely of teams from the state of Texas. As annoying as that would be (can you imagine the awful cheers those fans would come up with — “don’t mess with Texas, or Tech, or Baylor, or etc.) it makes for some good football. It’d be great to see the Rices of the world get a shot at UT every season. There’s still the Texas-Texas A&M bout. And Oklahoma-Oklahoma State keep up the Bedlam thing, whatever that means. Kansas and Missouri get to eliminate each other from pseudo-lofty rankings at season’s end. And Kansas State still gets Kansas. I almost forgot about North Texas, but then again so have most of the fans outside of Denton, Texas where Hank Hill remains the state mammal.
Mountain Plains Conference
| West | East | |
| Utah | Nebraska | |
| Arizona St | Iowa | |
| Arizona | Iowa St | |
| BYU | Colorado | |
| UTEP | Co State | |
| Boise | Air Force |
The Breakdown: (One division made up of teams with some mountains known as the West and one made up of teams with some mountains and plains known as the East) This is probably the weakest conference of the new group. Not that there aren’t some decent program names here, but these former big boys have seen better days. Like Bill Pullman. Spaceballs was awesome, but where has that guy been? Anyway, this is the only league to boast six mid-major clubs. Of course, Utah and Boise State are the only programs to win BCS games from outside the big six, and both did it during undefeated seasons (Utah twice). So it’s not all that bad. These teams are gonna need that bowl revenue considering the gigantic region the conference covers. Heading from Boise to UTEP won’t be a cheap trip.
The Setup: Nebraska and Colorado end up together in a rivalry that features two of the yesteryear boys at every season’s end. Colorado State hangs around as well, ensuring the Buffaloes of at least one win. Utah and BYU can continue the one Holy War that everyone seems to support, and Boise State ought to add an interesting wrinkle to the mix. Iowa and Iowa State are finally in the same conference here, which is a plus since they meet up every year anyway. Arizona and Arizona State are the only two Pac 10 defectors, but I’m betting no one on the West Coast will notice.
The Pacific Coast Conference
| Bayside | Valley | |
| USC | Oregon | |
| UCLA | Cal | |
| Fresno St | Or St | |
| Stanford | Nevada | |
| Hawaii | Wash | |
| Wyoming | Wash St |
The Breakdown: (one division full of California teams known as Bayside and another division full of more inland teams known as Valley because Saved By The Bell is the greatest show ever) This is definitely my favorite league logo. The strongest of the way west conferences, the Pacific snatches up quite a few top 25 teams. Sure, it’s made mostly of Pac 10 programs (eight of them), but let’s not condemn it as weak just yet. Fresno State is a quality opponent that would be fun to watch. They already play Oregon State pretty much every year. Nevada and Hawaii join up as well, bringing a cool road trip for their division. They won’t bring much else, but they could have a better chance of keeping all of the names like Polamalu, Moala, and Tatupu on the islands.
The Setup: Most of the Pac 10 remains intact. USC and UCLA keep their rivalry alive, ensuring at least one four-timeout-game a year (for more on that go here). Cal and Stanford are in opposite divisions, but with today’s technology they can probably work out a way to play every season. I mean if we can invent a razor that oozes lotion while you use it, then surely we can schedule a cross-divisional contest on an annual basis. Oregon and Oregon State stay together. And, in case anyone still cares, Washington and Washington State will show up for the pillow fight that is the Apple Cup. Wyoming, Nevada and Hawaii will likely find a way to make their games watchable as well. Hopefully by giving the Warriors an all-home slate.
Midwest Conference
| Great Lakes | Rivers | |
| Mich | Ohio St | |
| ND | Wisc | |
| Mich St | Illinois | |
| Toledo | N Illinois | |
| Minn | Indiana | |
| NW | Purdue |
The Breakdown: (One division with Michigan and Notre Dame known as the Great Lakes and one with Ohio State and Wisconsin known as Rivers because rivers seem like the opposite of lakes. Maybe deserts are, but I like this better) Yeah the logo is ugly, but do you know how hard it was to find a picture of wheat that looks like a “W.” Back to the point. Finally, Notre Dame joins a conference. And like so many have wanted to see, it’s basically the Big Ten. In fact, this conference is the entire Big Ten minus Iowa and Penn State. Big losses, but the Irish should help fill the void along with Northern Illinois and Toledo. Okay, so Notre Dame better win a lot games. Still, it would be nice to finally see them with a set slate of league foes. NBC won’t like it, but until they bring back the A-Team I’m not taking their calls.
The Setup: Michigan and Ohio State are now in opposite divisions, but if the Wolverines can get back on track we all might finally get to see a rematch like no one wanted back in 2007. They’d meet at the end of the regular season and then again in the conference title tilt. Not bad TV. Notre Dame is in there as well, and seeing them play the Buckeyes seems like a nice omage to days of football past. The rest of the teams don’t really make for enticing matchups, but the geography is solid, and there are more than a few teams here that could really surprise. Wisconsin, Michigan State, and Purdue would always be dark horses. And Northern Illinois would be a dark Husky.
Eastern Conference
| Military | Industrial | |
| Penn St | Pitt | |
| Maryland | BC | |
| Syracuse | Rutgers | |
| Miami OH | ECU | |
| Navy | Uconn | |
| Army | Cinci | |
The Breakdown: (One division with Penn State, some ACC and Big East and the military schools known as the Military [duh] and one known as the Industrial mostly because Pitt’s in that division) Penn State leaves the Big Ten after a nice run since the ’90s. The rest of the league is comprised of two ACC teams and the rest of the Big East. ECU fills in after beating top teams from both of those conferences last year. Army and Navy make an appearance as conference foes for the first time in forever. Should be a bit top heavy of a conference, but Penn State is a nice flagship university for the Eastern Conference.
The Setup: It would be awesome to see the Penn State-Pitt rivalry renewed as a conference constest. They could go either way here — a yearly series or just hoping for a potential title game matchup. Army and Navy playing as league opponents would only add fuel to their historic battles. Boston College and Maryland would become fast enemies as the only two clubs from the former ACC. And ECU, Rutgers, Connecticut and even Syracuse would all fight for bowl eligibility with a possible shot at a conference title game appearance.
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